Life

Do you ever wish you could go back in time and change things? Go back to the way things were? You almost sit and blame yourself for everything that went wrong, wish that everything you ever did, you didnt. You wish that you could make things go back to the way they were. I just want my life to go back to the way it was. When I smiled all the time, never cried, and had him by myside. Now im going to have to live my life in a new way. With the one person that always made me smile. He was my bestfriend. He says he still will be. But im scared im going to lose him. I would give anything to have that boy back.

Growing up

So as im sitting in my bed after a long hot summer day. I sit and think. WOW this is my last summer of school before im getting ready to go to college. I sit and wonder, did i do everything i could to be the best i could be over the past 11 years. I really dont think i have. I look at my future ahead and realize i will never be able to choose my number one college, like USC. im stuck in new england with this shitty weather. And then i sit and wonder, where will my life take me? I know its close to here but what if everything i have ever planned for myself goes completely wrong and im stuck living a life that i hadnt planed on living. What will I do if im the kid that is stuck living with mom and dad? Dont get me wrong i love them more than anything, but i cant stand being a kid in their house more than i need to. It also scares me because i have so much to live up to, a sister who is 25 and has a great job and can depend on her self. The part that scares me is what if i cant? what will i do? i dont want to be teh poor kid that runs home everytime something goes wrong. Oh the wonders of life.

Think before you speak

Do you ever say something you wish you hadn't? And you realize what you said after you said it? You almost wish you could take it back. No matter what you say can't fix it because what you have said has already hurt the person. And the worst part is that you wish that you had never said what you said because that person means a lot to you and you know they care about you. And the worst is the after effect. Everything you do to that person they are gonna treat you different. They might not even be their for you anymore and thats the scariest part. It hurts so bad knowing that the person you care about won't be their for you because of one thing you said that you didn't mean.